Pain is a four-letter word that no one likes. The only problem is that if we didn’t have pain, we wouldn’t have survived. Both our physical pain reflexes and our painful, so-called “negative” emotions like fear and sadness serve to protect us from even bigger problems, such as injury, depression and even annihilation.
Though we assume that a life without pain would be the definition of bliss, the rare condition known as Congenital Insensitivity to Pain(CIP) is an example of what pain free existence truly looks like. People born with CIP fall prey to continual injuries and, in many cases, don’t live into adulthood. This condition is thought to be so rare because few of those who have it have lived long enough to procreate.
The emotional correlate of CIP is known as alexithymia, which literally means, without words for feelings. In practice, people with alexithymia struggle to identify, understand or express feelings in themselves or others. With these disabilities, those with alexithymia suffer from relational problems that can leave them unable to connect and empathize with other humans.
The moral of the story is that to lead a vital life where pain functions as a guide instead of a sentence, we must learn to welcome our painful emotions. Dr. Leslie Greenberg, an internationally recognized expert on emotion and developer of Emotion Focused Therapy explains the paradox of needing to feel pain to feel good.
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